Soundtrack to "You're My Beat"
Spoiler alert!
- Adele – When We Were Young
(Everybody loves the things you do / From the way you talk to the way you move // You look like a movie / You sound like a song / My God, this reminds me / Of when we were young)
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It’s been four fucking years.
Long enough for Lucas to stop carrying this strange, nauseating weight around every time he thought of Max, to stop the instinctive flinch whenever he remembered how they’d parted ways. Long enough for his gaze to skim over posters advertising Max’s upcoming third album, to move right past headlines and magazine covers that screamed about the latest rumours.
. - Sia – Move Your Body
(Your body’s poetry / Move your body for me)
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Somehow, Max was still unprepared. Maybe it was because this time, nothing detracted from the way Lucas moved, no other dancers whirling about, no light show—just Max’s song, the sparse room, and Lucas.
It was truly breathtaking. The precision and controlled power exhibited every time he flung himself up into the air, yet he made it look effortless. The smile that took over his face, like he was exactly where he should be at this very moment. The way his body flowed with the music.
Jesus. He’d come a long way since sixteen.
. - Whitney Houston – I Wanna Dance with Somebody
(Oh, I wanna dance with somebody / I wanna feel the heat with somebody / Yeah, I wanna dance with somebody / With somebody who loves me)
.Max crossed his arms. “You can’t be bloody serious.”
“Oh, excuse you.” Lucas already had his hands up in the air, wiggling his hips, his smile so wide it should be illegal. “If you can’t act like an idiot to this song, there’s something wrong with you. Come on.”
. - MAX – Lights Down Low
(Can I stop the flow of time? / Can I swim in your divine? / ‘Cause I don’t think I’d ever leave this place / Oh, turn the lights, turn the lights down low / Yeah, now I’m feeling you breathing slow)
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Max’s smile grew, and maybe Lucas had leaned in after all because it felt like there was only a breath’s width left between them. “What if I kissed you?”
“That would be…” Words. Lucas had them. “Acceptable.”
. - Alicia Keys – Fallin’
(I keep on falling in and outta love with you / Sometimes I love ya, sometimes you make me blue / Sometimes I feel good, at times I feel used / Loving you, darling, makes me so confused)
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If nothing changed by the end of this trip, it was time to pick up the pieces and move on. No, Lucas didn’t need a house, a ring, and a white picket fence, but it would be awfully nice to have someone he could flirt with and it wasn’t a joke, someone he could call his own and maybe even love, one day, and be loved in return.
. - Madonna – La Isla Bonita
(Tropical the island breeze / All of nature wild and free / This is where I long to be / La isla bonita)
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“And since Lucas lost the same bet I did, he’ll be free-styling to it, really show us what the Royal Ballet School taught him.” Even as he was talking, Max reached out to clasp Lucas’s elbow and mouthed ‘Focus on me’ before he added, “Lucas, what can we expect tonight?”
. - Ed Sheeran – Beautiful People (feat. Khalid)
(I see stars in your eyes when we’re halfway there / I’m not fazed by all the lights and flashing cameras / ‘Cause with my arms around you, there’s no need to care)
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“You’re golden.” Max’s eyes crinkled at the corners. “And just remember that even if you accidentally insult the hosts or trip right into the displayed art, you’ll still be my favourite person at the party.”
. - Lewis Capaldi – Someone You Loved
(I let my guard down / And then you pulled the rug / I was getting kinda used to being someone you loved)
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Fuck, how much had he had last night? What had he been thinking?
Lucas—that was what he’d been thinking. Who he’d been thinking about, rather, and screw Eric for being in the wrong place at the wrong time because yeah, Max might have taken the long way around, but he would have gotten his jaw unstuck eventually. Now, though? Well, he’d sure missed his chance to speak, so it was time to hold his peace. Hopefully not forever.
God, Max was a fucking idiot.
. - Labrinth – Jealous
(It’s hard for me to say / I’m jealous of the way / You’re happy without me)
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It wasn’t like they were attached at the mouth or anything like that, but there were cutesy little hand brushes and secretive smiles and warm glances, and to top it all off, Eric was a blusher. For the first time all tour, Max didn’t give Lucas a pre-show hug. He didn’t think Lucas even noticed.
. - LP – Lost on You
(So smoke ’em if you got ’em / ‘Cause it’s going down / All I ever wanted was you / I’ll never get to heaven / ‘Cause I don’t know how / Let’s raise a glass or two / To all the things I’ve lost on you)
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Lucas swallowed around the taste of shards. “Fuck you, Max.”
“Anytime, darling.” Max opened his arms with a wide, painfully fake smile. “I’m right here, so come and get me.”
. - k.d. lang – Hallelujah (Live)
(And I’ve seen your flag on the marble arch / Our love is not a victory march / It’s a cold and it’s a broken hallelujah)
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Max, alone at the front of the stage, eyes closed, his voice soaring above the crowd. “Maybe there’s a god above, but all I’ve ever learned from love was how to shoot somebody who outdrew you.”
. - Axel Flovent – No One’s Gonna Love You
(We’re reeling through an endless fall / We are the ever-living ghost of what once was / But no one is ever gonna love you more than I do / No one’s gonna love you more than I do)
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The message came in just before Lucas’s audition at the Royal Ballet. ‘I’m not Elton John, but this is your song. You can tell anybody or no one—it’s yours either way. Kind of like me, I suppose.’
. - Ed Sheeran – Thinking Out Loud
(When your legs don’t work like they used to before / And I can’t sweep you off of your feet / Will your mouth still remember the taste of my love? / Will your eyes still smile from your cheeks? // And darling, I will be loving you till we’re seventy)
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“How fucking generous of you,” Lucas said flatly, only then Max drew him into another hug, laughing into Lucas’s ear, and Lucas couldn’t quite stifle a smile because Max wasn’t given to big romantic declarations, at least not outside his music. While twenty-two was a tad young to marry, the implication wasn’t lost on Lucas.
This was it. For both of them.
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